Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to Life and Limb, a podcast from Thrive magazine, all about living well with limb loss and limb difference. I'm Jeff Thiessen, a publisher of Thrive magazine and your podcast host. My guest this episode is an award winning standup comedian, television writer and finalist on Canada's Got Talent. She's Courtney Gilmore, one of Canada's most unique voices and sought after comedy talents. Courtney took top honors at the 2017 Just For Laughs homegrown competition, a first by a female comic in the 19 year history of the event. Her first album, let me hold you'd Baby, was Juno nominated. And she's just released her new Wonder Woman album, which is a really funny take on life as a triple M amputee, especially when it comes to public perceptions that come with her unique disability. Courtney. Courtney Gilmore, welcome. How are you and what's going on in your world?
[00:01:00] Speaker B: Hi. Thank you. Thanks for having me. You, you gave me the full bio treatment. You went, you really, you really combed through my highlights. So thank you.
[00:01:09] Speaker A: Well, you're welcome. It was a pleasure interviewing you for the COVID story of Thrive a few issues back. So, yeah, I kind of know you.
[00:01:18] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, things are good. I released, as you just said, my second album and things have been going well since then. And yeah, I've just sort of been working on my touring and, you know, doing a lot of promo for this album. So that's been a lot of fun and just kind of seeing how it's being received as a, you know, there's so much work that you put into, you know, making it and then performing it and everything. And now I'm just letting it breathe, see how it's, you know, people are enjoying it.
[00:01:52] Speaker A: And you lead me nicely into the first question I wanted to ask you about the Wonder Woman album. And I kind of chuckle at the name of your first album. Let me hold your baby and we'll talk more about your limb difference. But you are without hands, as am I. So I find that ironically funny in that title. How would you describe this new one, Wonder Woman? How's it different from the first album?
[00:02:18] Speaker B: Well, I think the first album, my debut album, was more of a compilation of all the jokes I've ever written since the beginning of my career. You know, like I, I had a very polished 45 minutes that was introductory.
It was a glimpse, a first glimpse into my life as a congenital amputee. And so it was basically just like, here's everything I could have. This is everything I thought of in my however many years up until that Point. And you know, they were jokes. I was proud of a lot of it. A lot of them about just like encounters I have with cab drivers and my father, my family and stuff like that. And while I love all of those jokes, Wonder Woman is different in the sense that it was a more intentionally cohesive album and it was more of a personal theme that I wanted to put together.
And so rather than just like, you know, burning all the material I've ever written up until that point.
Yeah, I had an idea in back in February of 2024 even. It all came together very quickly, very quickly for this album. And I just sort of thought there are some other things I want to say and more, more nuanced thoughts about my perspective regarding disability. And not even finished a lot of it you can hear. It's like I don't even really know where I stand is just kind of conflicted thoughts. You know, here's this and just things that I have been chewing on ideas and it all sort of tied together in this theme of like my abilities, my capabilities versus other people's expectations of me. And you know, it's called Wonder Woman. But as you heard and you were there, you know, the material is about like me doing very mundane tasks and people thinking of me as a superhero for doing stuff like that.
[00:04:24] Speaker A: So.
[00:04:25] Speaker B: So yeah, it's more personal to me this album. I feel it's more. It has more of intention behind it because it was sort of a spontaneous light bulb moment that I had to put it together. And then after I had that idea, it all just came together very, very quickly. Like I said, February 2024 is when I had the idea and we. We filmed and recorded it in August. So it's a short turnaround time. We released it in October. So that's all. It's all very fast. But you know, it was an. It was an inspired idea and I just felt like I might as well run with it now instead of waiting. So yeah, that's what I did.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: Well, as you mentioned, I was part of the live audience for one of the recording nights at the Comedy Bar in Toronto. I think it was for someone with. Without two hands like you, I could just relate to so much of your content and the way you presented just that content and everyday awkward encounters like you talked about. It was so funny and the two handed audience found it hilarious too. So how do you make. I don't know if it's a formula or how you do it, but. And of course your style and talent. But how do you make amputee humor so comfortably funny for people without disabilities.
[00:05:46] Speaker B: Yeah, that's a good question because I mean, first of all, it was really cool to see you and a couple. There were a few other amputees that night as well. There were both nights that we recorded. But I'm noticing that more and more at my live shows that more amputees are, are coming, which is really cool because it's telling me that my message is getting out there to people who are like me, which is the point, you know. Yeah, I want to reach able bodied people, but that's a given that I'm going to. And so, I mean, I think so. Yeah. So for one thing it was great to have people who are in the audience and directly get it. But in terms of like, you know, making it relatable to people who don't get it, personally, I think it's more like it's, it's the other side of the coin that they see. It's like they've seen disability out in the public sphere, they come across it, they know of it, but it's like a little inside scoop of what really goes on in someone's mind. Someone who they may have not talked to before or someone who they may have spoken to. And the joke that I'm telling is about something that they have said or like a variation of something maybe kind of embarrassing or ignorant that they have said. And so they can see themselves in that joke and they can think to myself, themselves, you know, oh shoot, like I've definitely asked a dumb question like that to a disabled person before, but she's making a joke about it, highlighting how, you know, kind of dumb it is, but in a way that's like good natured and good and light hearted. And so I think that's where the relatability comes in, is just people seeing them.
People for one, seeing themselves on the other side of the interaction that I'm making fun of. And also, you know, a lot of the material that I have that's not about, you know, awkward comments or ignorant comments, but more about like the things that I do around my own house that because I'm lazy, you know, I have a joke about like leaving things in the microwave and then pressing the 10 second button again just so that I can get the bowl to rotate closer to me. I, I'm just doing that because I'm lazy. And that's like, it's a relatable thing. And I think that it's especially cool when able bodied people can see that we have more Alike. More in common than we have, you know, as differences.
And that someone like me is not like a magical unicorn who just lives in this disabled universe. I have everyday experiences like everyone else, and, you know, and I list them. So, yeah, it's a little bit of a mix of that, but it's very heartwarming when I do see people in the audience who do resonate with the material on a very directly personal level. That's like an extra layer of appreciation for me.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: Yeah. And the way I started that question with your jokes. Resonating. Resonating with me for obvious reasons. And as you explain it, they resonate with them, too, because they've experienced this. What do I do? Fear factor. How does she do that? What did I just say? Right?
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: All right.
[00:08:56] Speaker B: What. What.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: What compels someone to stand up on stage, try and make complete strangers laugh? I mean, that's so vulnerable, isn't it? What?
[00:09:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:10] Speaker A: Why do you do this?
[00:09:11] Speaker B: Well, you know what? It's really funny. I. So I'm gonna paraphrase something I heard. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I don't know who I should be giving credit to because I don't remember who said this to me, but I will say that it's not coming from my own mind. But I.
The way this was explained is, you know, people will say, you know, the. Oh, here my cat is, by the way, she's coming to say, hi, this is Ella.
People will say, like, you know, public speaking is, like, people's number one, you know, fear in life.
And so, like, what compels you to do it? But it's like, I don't know that I feel.
It just feels like something I should do because I know I can. Rather than like people who regularly do, like, extremist sports, like. Like bungee jumping or hang gliding. I'm like, what compels you to do that? You know, and it's like, because they have fun doing it. It doesn't feel like a compulsion. It feels like, yeah, it's a thrill, and, yeah, there's some adrenaline to it, but it's like. It just feels like something I'm supposed to do because I'm drawn to it. And I feel the same way about standup. It doesn't necessarily. I get what people mean when they're like, oh, it's so vulnerable. It's so exposing. How do you. Like, how do you do it? But it's like, I feel. I just feel drawn to do it because it feels like I'm supposed to. Or it feels like I have a natural skill to do it. So yeah, it can be scary, but I guess it does. It just doesn't feel as scary to me as it does to other people. In the same way where as people who go bungee jumping, something's making them do it. And to the, to me, someone who would probably never do that, I just kind of stay on the sidelines and be like, God bless. I don't know how you do that, but they're like, oh, it's fun, you know. So yeah, we all have our, we all have our compulsions and our, our gravitational pulls towards things that seem very, you know, exciting but scary.
[00:11:11] Speaker A: I remember the first time I asked you that question. It was for the magazine article and you.
[00:11:15] Speaker B: What did I say the first time? Was it different?
[00:11:17] Speaker A: Well, no, it started differently.
You were, you were quick to make a joke about it and say something along the lines that, yeah, comed, we're all generally unwell.
[00:11:29] Speaker B: I mean, and that, that is true. That's a good little asterisk. Yeah. And we're. And I'm mentally unwell. Yes. I think there's a bit of that too. It's like, I feel like you, you feel like if you have some. And it's like an outlet to get out things that make you a little bit, I don't know, depressed or angry or whatever. It's not, it's not, I'm not going to go so far as to call it therapy, but it is a good outlet to express yourself. And yeah, it just so happens a lot of people on the stage are, you know, dealing with some stuff.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: Dealing with, yeah. Let's go back to your start in stand up comedy. Now you live in Toronto now, but you grew up in Sarnia, right?
[00:12:08] Speaker B: No, no, I didn't, but I was born there but my parents moved like immediately after. So it's really funny that that's always in my bio. I have no recollection of Sarnia whatsoever. I'm sure it's great. But my parents lived in Sarnia when they had me and then they moved to Kitchener Waterloo and that's where I grew up. Both. Yeah, Kitchener first, then Waterloo, then I moved to Toronto in my early 20s.
[00:12:31] Speaker A: Okay, got it. Sorry about that. But a stop in Windsor at the University of Windsor.
[00:12:36] Speaker B: Yes. And then I went to it. Yeah, so that's the thing. I've been, I've been. I've lived too many different places and yeah, it gets confusing. But yeah, so I lived in Windsor when I went to school there. For a long time, about eight years.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: And that's where you got sort of your first stab at comedy on stage. I mean, right. It was a fundraising event, if I remember right.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: And yes, stumbled into it by accident. We had hired the group I was a part of, had hired this comedian to come in from LA and just be. Be the entertainment for our event. And she, me being like the main coordinator for it, I didn't know how comedy worked. I didn't know that she was supposed to have like an opener. And usually I know this now, but usually when like, a headliner comes to town, you find if they don't have their own opener, it's your. Like you find a local comedian to open for them. I didn't know anything like that. So she asked me if I would do it and I was. I had never done comedy before. I was intrigued by the idea. She's like, just do five minutes.
And I did. And it was just. Yeah, it just sort of kind of all untangled in this weird way, but it was really fun. And that was my first. My first show.
[00:13:48] Speaker A: Just cold. You went up on stage. Obviously prepared, but, yeah, totally.
Okay. So grew up in Kitchener Waterloo, and you were born with limb difference. You mentioned that already. And this question might sound a bit. Bit strange. And I've asked you before, too, if you had a, and I put this in air quotes, a normal childhood. I say normal. I mean, better said typical. Was it a typical upgrade like Girl Guides or baseball or soccer, ballet? No institutions.
Tell us about your childhood.
[00:14:25] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Tell you about my childhood? Okay, we're deviating here. We're going to. We're going deep. Yeah, I had a pretty, you know, I.
My disability was not expected and was. I say this on the album, but it was like a complete surprise to my family in the sense that they didn't.
They didn't detect it on the ultra. Is it ultrasound or sonogram, or is that the same thing? I don't know what the distinction is.
[00:14:55] Speaker A: The picture, I am not, not medically qualified to say, but I've always heard it either.
Ultrasound, I think everybody knows what that is.
[00:15:03] Speaker B: I don't know. But, yeah, so they didn't. They didn't know when my mom was pregnant with me that I was going to be born without limbs. I missed my right leg as well. And, yeah, so we kind of were all just winging it out there, you know, it was like they were there to support me whenever I needed and I was, you know, it was like, just kind of tell us what you need. We'll try to figure it out. We were involved with the War Amps organization and all the seminars that they put on, which were hugely helpful just for me. Meeting other people, other kids like myself was. That was a large part of my, you know, formative self concept. It was just like being able to like once or twice a year interact with these other kids who also didn't have limbs.
And yeah, I was in like skating ballet. I skied for a long time. I basically would just sign up for anything and just to see how I liked it, like track and field and just all kinds of, all kinds of things. I would try just to, just to be involved with something, just to have activities in my life. I really like dancing for a while, although I took ballet while wearing prosthetic hands and I don't recommend that because well, well, you know, I don't know what the technology is now for children, for children sized prosthetic hands, but when I was growing up they were quite cumbersome and quite heavy. And ballet is not this, ballet is not a dance for heavy machinery to be flopping around your body. It's like light and graceful and poised and I just like, I felt very weighed, weighed down by these myo. Electric hands.
But, but yeah, I've had just, you know, I have a younger brother. We fought, we got along, we fought again and we just had yeah, a typical childhood and I had a good group of friends.
Yeah.
[00:17:10] Speaker A: You're not a prosthetic wear everyday prosthetic wearer now.
[00:17:14] Speaker B: I only leg. Only leg.
[00:17:16] Speaker A: Right.
[00:17:16] Speaker B: I wear my leg and then, but no, I haven't worn prosthetic. We had like sort of a deal where because I was heavily encouraged to wear them for the first part of my life just, just so that I would know how they operated so that I could make a choice for myself of like, but you know, which is better. So when I was about 14 or 15, I was like, I'm done. I can't, I can't do it. It's just a personal preference.
I know a lot of single arm amputees like the balance of having another one and some double arm amputees like both. And I just happen to not like either.
And yeah. So ever since then I've just been flying solo.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: Were you a funny kid?
[00:18:01] Speaker B: It kind of depends who you ask. I think I was a funny kid.
I think I was. I think I've always funny and it's, it's interesting you asked that because sometimes I'll get messages from people who grew up with me.
And they say, like, I would have always assumed that no one thought I was. Not that no one thought I was funny, but I always assumed that it's a surprise for people in my, you know, childhood to find out that I'm a comedian because I was very shy and very quiet. I wasn't like life of the party or I wasn't like this gregarious, like, charismatic personality by any means. And so I sometimes get messages though, from people in my high school or, or from even further back and they'll, and they'll say that they're not surprised and I'd be really. And I guess I, I have always had a pretty healthy sense of humor and I would make jokes, but it was more like, I don't know how to describe it, but just sort of like jokes to your friends, like a more sub subdued humor. I don't know, I think people, if I were, if I was close to you and I had like an inner circle, I was funny for sure, but I wasn't loud and I wasn't outgoing. So, you know, I never knew that I had any kind of performative quality to myself until much later in life.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I was going to say that's a bit of a departure from being that more subdued, subtle humor to laying it all, Laying it all out there.
[00:19:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:38] Speaker A: I was going to ask you, and this maybe has a little bit to do with how thick skinned you are as a comedian. Like I said earlier, to me, it's a very vulnerable profession to be in. And there is a sort of societal sensitivity to humor about disability. You know, we shouldn't joke. And I mean, that's a whole, whole other conversation. But that's sometimes in the disability community itself. So in this age of unfiltered social media feedback, do you get pushback to your humor or not?
[00:20:13] Speaker B: Yeah, occasionally I do. I find the most pushback comes from, I mean, surprise, surprise online, you know, tick tock and stuff. Nothing outrageous though, or nothing over. Like, I don't think I've had any joke that got an overwhelmingly negative response. And if it, if I did, I think that would be, you know, like, as a comedian, it's my responsibility to gauge the feedback that I'm getting and kind of, you know, step back and say, okay, what. How are people responding to this across the board? You know, and so if I had a joke that was like getting overwhelmingly negative feedback, I would take that as a cue to tighten it up, rewrite it, or chuck it, you know, but no, I, but, but then there's also the thing of like, you can't please everybody. And there are some people even within the disability community that have some problems with joking about certain aspects of it. And I will hear them out but sometimes I'll disagree, you know, and that's fine. But nothing has been like, I don't think I've, I've said or, or put out anything that has like really garnered a lot of criticism. But you know, you know, especially as I get more exposed to larger audiences, you start to narrow your parameters with your fan base. And so like I'm not for everyone. I like if an 85 year old man doesn't like what I'm doing, I'm not going to take that as a marker to change what I'm doing. I'm like, you're probably not in my, my demographic. You know, like I talk about stuff that's relevant to, to me in my life and people who are sort of within the same proximity to it and, and to my experiences. And so yeah, you can't please everybody.
[00:22:05] Speaker A: But yeah, yeah, you sure can't, that's for sure. Your, your career, it extends beyond the, the comedy stage. You've been a writer for. This hour has 22 minutes among other shows. And when you talk about your audience, you may have a couple of them because what we see for the most part is a very polished, not necessarily G rated but you know that that side of, of your comedy but then as you described the other side, that, that dark and dirty dank basement not for prime time. And that's got to be a bit of a, a different audience.
[00:22:43] Speaker B: Yes, but that's true that, you know what, that's true. That's a good point. There are different. And you know what? I'm okay with appealing to both as long as you know that like yeah, sometimes if you someone who follows me from CBC or is more than 22 minutes. This hour has 22 minutes vibe or you know, I'm on CBC a lot. You know, CBC debaters, I'm on there a lot or just like CBC tapings and that's all clean comedy and stuff and that's great just for laughs and everything. But yeah, coming to see me live is probably going to be a different experience depending on the show. And if it's like an 11pm show on a Saturday night it might get a little darker and dirtier and you know what? There are, there are people from that fan base that appreciate both sides of the coin there. And yeah, it just kind of comes down to taste. But yeah, I Definitely.
I like being able to be versatile in my comedy. You know, as long as I don't feel like I'm betraying myself or betraying my own interests. And I'm happy to do. You know, I have a lot of clean comedy and I have a lot of not clean comedy, and it just kind of, you know, I contain multitudes. We all do. And I think that's a really cool thing. And also, as a person with a disability, I especially find it important to show the many sides that we have because people tend to think, you know, disabled people are one note. Especially when it comes to maybe darker content or more like sexually explicit content for an after hours show. It's like, that's important that you know that there are sides of us that can, can speak to those experiences because those are the reasons why we're so misunderstood, judged and misconceived is because, you know, people tend to not include us in the, in the full range of human experiences. And we're definitely in there. So I think it's good, it's good to be able to represent those parts of our lives as well.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Which actually leads me to my next question about your identity, your, your brand. And you have said that you wrestle a lot, you think a lot about maybe cutting out hand jokes from your performances. I don't know if you're still wrestling with that, but what gets you thinking that way?
[00:25:03] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it's interesting because I've thought about that a lot and it was something I was actually thinking about before I came up with the idea for Wonder Woman. I was sort of toying with the idea of a second album a little bit later though. Like I, like sometime in the next year or so is when I was originally planning on putting out a second album. And I was really grappling with this conflict, so to speak of like, okay, but what am I supposed to say for a second album? Because I did all my hand jokes the first time and, you know, maybe people want to hear something different from me, but I don't know if I have enough, enough different jokes to put on a full album. And, but at the same time, like I mentioned, I, I did have some, some other ideas and other unfinished thoughts about disability that hadn't made the first album. And I wanted to say them, I wanted to record them, I wanted to talk about them still. And so after a certain point of just kind of like ho hum, humming and hawing about like, what I should do to appease other people, I just was like, you know what? Screw it like I'm just gonna do another full album back to back. Disability jokes all over again. Because I friggin want to. I just want to. And I. And I have them and I know they're good. I also know that I have plenty of other material, but that can. I've got my whole career ahead of me. Like, I feel like I don't feel imprisoned by my disability material, but I do feel like I have time. I'm sort of buying my own freedom with the beginnings of this career and talking about my disability. The more I get exposed to larger audiences and more opportunities based on the amputee jokes, that's giving me time down the road to cultivate an audience and then have them come to see me because they know me and then expand my material. You know, there's going to be time for that. There's never. I'm not going to be like trapped by this, you know, for my whole career again. I don't, I don't feel trapped by it. But of course, yeah, there are times where you feel conflicted because you feel like that's what you're known for. But I just made a decision. I was like, I'm just going to decide to not feel that way anymore and just say what I want to say and, you know, if people don't like it, that's fine. But I think people, you know, I got a very warm reception to Wonder Woman and it felt very authentic to me. I said everything I wanted to say on that second album and it all happened to be about my disability again. Oh, well, it's my life experience, you know, I, I make jokes about that on the album too. There are tons of comedians making albums and albums and Alvin specials and specials all about dating or all about the same things. That's fine. That's what they're known for too. And yeah, so I feel like the bigger my career gets, the more I'm buying time later down the road to do other material. Once I have people, you know, following me and trusting in my voice and my humor and coming to see me, as long as they like my sense of humor, I'll be able to tell other jokes about other things as well, you know, and live shows, I also would explore different, you know, when it's not an album or something like that. Like I, I do talk about other stuff in my sets at live shows. So, yeah, it's been a bit of a journey with that. Probably even since the last time we spoke, I'm pretty sure I've shifted a little Bit of my ideas about that. But yeah, once I put out Wonder Woman, I just stopped caring about that and instead I just doubled down and I was just like, no, we're doing it again all over again, and it's going to be good the second time because it was good the first time, so whatever.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: Yeah, that's interesting. I mean, I hear you. I mean, you're talking about growth as a performing artist for sure, and. But using what you know best and has worked for you to pave that pathway or open new doors in bigger audiences, like you said. Good plan. Good plan.
[00:29:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:21] Speaker A: A couple more questions for you, Courtney. One, I'm really interested to know what's a bad day at the office look like for you for a comedian?
[00:29:29] Speaker B: Bad day? Yeah. You mean like on stage?
[00:29:32] Speaker A: On stage, yeah.
[00:29:35] Speaker B: Well, I mean, just like a classic bad day would just be a bad set, which would probably just look like, I don't know, just not hitting it off with the audience. Those are, those, those times happen. Just not. You're just, you're not hitting it. Especially if it's one thing, if you're trying new material and that's not working, that's not a great feeling. But what's worse is doing old material that, you know, works and tonight it's not working. And that makes you feel like absolute dog crap because you're like, okay, all I know these jokes work, so why are they not working with you? You start second guessing everything.
But yeah, just. It's just like sometimes you're just not having chemistry with the audience or whatever, whatever reasons. And, yeah, you feel a little bit dejected. I, I tend to try my best to walk into my sets, like, ready for anything, preparing for it to go well and anticipating it go well, but if it doesn't not, you know, absolutely needing all of my validation to come from that one set because that's putting a lot of pressure on yourself and your worth.
If you're just constantly thinking, I'm only as good as my next set, you're really gonna struggle. You have to, like, have some sort of inner peace, however you can rummage it, you know, you have sometimes you really gotta try for it. But it's like, if you can maintain a consistent state of well, being as much as you can, that's really helpful because then sometimes a bomb doesn't feel as bad as it could, I'm guessing.
[00:31:27] Speaker A: But I'm thinking self talk would be an important tool in your toolbox in the dressing room.
[00:31:32] Speaker B: Yeah, it definitely is. I mean, a lot of comedians myself Included have gone. Like, this has been my thing. I used to go out on stage and just assume that everyone doesn't like me. Like, before I'm even out there. And I didn't even really know I was doing that. I just felt it, and it just felt like, oh, I guess I'm just going to. You feel like you have to win people over where. And, you know, I've come a long way from that, and I still sometimes struggle with that. But if you can change. If you can, like, intentionally change that mindset just a little bit so that you can say, I'm going out there. There's 50, 60, 70, 80 people out there.
I'm pretty likable. I hope they like me. I think they'll like me. Just little tweaks to how you frame your expectations. It can really. It can really pay off so that you don't feel so dejected because, yeah, it's. It's like self. It's like self abuse to go out on stage and just assume that a room full of people don't like you. Like, that's psychotic, actually. But we do it all the time, so just little shifts like that in your mind can really help.
[00:32:40] Speaker A: What an interesting profession.
I'm sticking with that.
You create great comedy about your everyday encounters with. With strangers, and we've talked a little bit about that, but I would think there's still some everyday stuff with strangers that isn't really that funny to you still after. After all these years. Yes. Like, what bugs you?
[00:33:05] Speaker B: What bugs me. Right.
Yeah. I mean, I would say the stuff that I don't find so funny is, well, you know, as much material as I have on Uber drivers, and I have a lot. That's just because that's just how I get around most of the time. And so there are some funny encounters with that, but also not so funny when. I don't know if you ever do, like. Do you take Ubers at all? Like, do you take cabs out anywhere or.
[00:33:39] Speaker A: No, not a whole lot. No. I have some experience with it, but no.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: Okay. Well, typically when I get picked up, I'm always, always preparing for when I open the door and the driver sees me. There's like this thing that happens in their brains where they suddenly fly into, like, panic mode because they, like, it's so strange. It's like. So they'll pull up to my building and I will. And they. They suddenly, they see me, a girl with no hands on the sidewalk. But instead of thinking she's the one who called this Uber and she's the one who stands here as a human being before me. She must have existed before I pulled up to the sidewalk, right? But now what they're doing is. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Flying. Opening the door. Flying over to my side, like, opening the door, like. Like helping. Trying to help me, help buckle me in, like, infantilizing me, essentially, just like, freaking out, thinking that I can't open the door, that I can't get in the car. And they. But they do it in such a frantic way that it causes, like, their anxiety. Causes me anxiety. And so I have to, like. I have to usually mindfully temper it by I. I'll open the door, and as soon as I see their eyes go wide, I will literally look directly at them and be like, stop.
No, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I'm okay. I'm gonna get into the car. Stay right where you are. You don't need to move. You don't need to get out. Just. It's okay. And then you can kind of see them visibly relax a little bit. And then I get into the car and I put my seat belt on. But in. If I. But if I don't do that, though, they will just, like, fly into, like, this fight or flight weird frenzy. That is so annoying because it's like, like, let me. Oh, let me help you. Let me help you. Let me help you. And it's. It's so, like, disorienting. And it happens every day. It happens literally every day. And so I find that, like. I mean, I could write a joke about that. There is. I mean, there's almost nothing I can't find funny from a certain angle. But in the moment, it's very frustrating. I don't like being infantilized. I don't like it when people will jump to my rescue without being asked. And that's like. That's just, like, a big example of that.
And it's just, like. It's fascinating because it's like, how do you think that I am alive? Like, and, like, how do you think that I got here? You know what I mean? Like, it's just. It's perplexing to think about. I know people will be like, well, they're just trying to help you.
[00:36:29] Speaker A: Well, it kind of stems from assumptions, right? And I've heard you talk seriously about assumptions about you. Like, what you drive, you live alone and not with your parents, assuming it takes you a long time to get dressed. And these are things that you have. You have communicated Before. So along the same lines I would think, right. Assumptions about your abilities with.
[00:36:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean usually what I get most annoyed by is like assumptions in the moment. So like, you know, like if I'm at a restaurant or, or something or like the movie theater where you have like self serve soda and stuff like that, like people will kind of grab things for you in front like in front of you without asking. That's the kind of stuff that annoys me in the moment. But I always forget that a lot of people don't like they do assume that I don't live by myself or they assume like, like the very basic things.
And it's like, I guess it's just fascinating to me because I would never, my, I would never guess that someone thinks that, that I live with my parents because that's so like what, like why I would never even think that. But yeah, when I hear, when I hear on occasion what people think or like, oh, when I first met you and you told me that you live apartment like I was so surprised. Like I, I'm just as surprised to find out that they thought that as they are to find out that it's not true, you know. So yeah.
[00:38:04] Speaker A: Last one for you and you. I mean you work with humor professionally, but how about some advice to, to us amputees with respect to the importance of humor in our daily lives?
Again, situations that we can all relate to that you're talking, talking about. I mean, do you use humor personally to make your way through some of these frustrating encounters?
[00:38:33] Speaker B: I mean, I guess I do. I don't know that I, I think if I, if it ever got to a point where I was having a day where I felt like I needed to use humor, that's usually my telltale sign that I to not because I don't think it should ever feel forced. I just have a natural sense of levity about me maybe because probably even more so now because I'm a comedian. That's not to say that no one else. There's lots of like just their people's dispositions are naturally humorous and they find humor in things. But I find it's more important to be very authentic about how you actually feel. You're not required to find things funny if they don't feel funny to you, if they feel traumatic or if they feel annoying or angering, you're allowed to feel that too.
And so I would be really hesitant to encourage people to like see the humor in things when they don't genuinely feel it. You can see the humor in it later if you, if you feel like that's an important thing to, to do. But I mean, I think having a healthy concept of yourself and who you are is just generally helpful for moving around the world, no matter who you are, able bodied or not. I think that just being able to like make sure that you have a strength in you that doesn't come from or that doesn't like have a strength in you that you can come back to at the end of the day where you can say, listen, somebody said something really messed up to me today and I'm allowed to feel upset about that, but I also am not going to allow it to dictate the way I live the rest of my life, you know, and that's going to look different in different people. But yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, if you have a sense of humor about things, it can definitely make things easier. You know, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt where possible. Like, you know, like I said, the, the thing about the cab driver, it's like, yeah, it is a very annoying thing. But there is something I can do about that in that moment. What? You know, I'm not trying to be rude to them by correcting them. I'm correcting them so that the next amputee that they ever have in their cab, they don't do that too. So now I'm just saying, listen, I know that you have been conditioned by society to think that people like me are helpless, but I'm just letting you know you need to cut that out right now and move on your merry way and let me move on my merry way and then I don't have to think about that for the rest of the day.
You know, deal with things in the moment as, as you know, in, in the healthiest way you can and don't suppress your feelings. But yeah, you can allow yourself to be light hearted about things too and just, you know, everything is a story at some point, I guess.
[00:41:27] Speaker A: Definitely for you. Yes. In what you do now that's, that's really great advice because some friends with, with disabilities, they'll often just turn to humor to lessen tension, sometimes in awkward situations. And, and I, I really like what you said that you don't have to just really be authentic and respect your, your own feelings that you're having at that time. So totally great advice. Listen, I want to advice for folks to find your, your work, your albums. Comedy Records is the, the publisher or.
[00:42:04] Speaker B: Yeah, Comedy Records is my record label and both of my albums are available on all streaming platforms. Spotify, Apple Music, everywhere that you listen to things, it's on there. And you know, I also have a website, Courtney Gilmore.com it's got the albums and also all my other stuff and my tour dates. And I'm very active on Instagram and Tick Tock and my handle is Courtney J. Gilmore on both of those.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: All right, great. Yeah, lots at your website again, Courtney Gilmore. And there's a U in the in the Gilmore M O U R.com lots to be found there. And you can be found in, in clubs and bars and dank basements sometimes if that's what people are looking for too. So that's terrific, Courtney. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate you making time and I know a busy writing and performing schedule. It's great to have you on.
[00:43:00] Speaker B: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. Great talking with you.
[00:43:03] Speaker A: You too. And with that, this has been life and limb. Thanks for listening. You can read about others who are thriving with limb loss or limb difference and plenty more at Thrive Mag ca. And you'll find our previous podcast episodes there too. Until next time, Live. Well.
